Romano. Jumping.

Ciao.

My name is Romano.

And I am so done.

I don’t care about following a damn script and trying to pretty this video up.

You want me to be honest?

Fine.

Have a big helping of fucking honesty.

I am sick.

And tired.

Of everything.

If I hear the words,

“Oh, it’ll get better! Just give it time!”

One more time…

I’m… I’m gonna rip throats out.

People have been telling me things will get better my entire life.

And you know what?

It just got worse. And worse.

And it really can’t get any worse.

Here, I’ll explain.

I never got to meet my parents.

I was raised by my Grandfather. And he never told me what happened to my Mom and Dad.

He would always just change the subject.

I tried to be the best Grandson I could be, even though I was always just lonely.

Even when I was with my little brother, I was just… lonely.

And you know what?

Feliciano has always been better than me. Grandpa would always bring him all these presents, he would always take him out places, he would always congratulate Feli and fawn over his art.

I don’t know why I was never good enough for him. I just wasn’t.

And, on top of that, Feliciano and I were separated at such a young age. I never got to watch him grow up.

I love my little brother.

Even when I tell him he’s stupid, that I hate him.

I just…

I just didn’t want him to know I was jealous of him…

That I wanted to be as lovable as he was.

I know, it’s not fair of me to be mad at him for something that wasn’t his fault.

But I get furious when I think of how I could never watch him get older, that I couldn’t be there when he needed me.

We aren’t brothers.

We’re strangers that live in the same house.

Not like he’s ever there.

And that stupid potato eating bastardo!!

He… I mean…

I finally could be with my brother again.

And what does Feliciano do?

He slings his arm in that stupid German’s and acts like I don’t even exist.

Even lovable, “everyone-is-my-best-friend” Feliciano doesn’t want to be around me.

Am I really that worthless?

Ha. I guess so.

I hate living in this constant bubble of jealousy and hatred.

I don’t want to sit here and hope things get better.

Because I know they don’t.

And you know what? I finally thought things were actually going to get better.

For once, I fell for that stupid phrase.

And you know why?

It’s because I love you, Antonio…

<^><^><^><^>

“Idioto, I love you-a so much…” Romano whispered into his camera. He had his feet tucked up on the bench he was sitting on, pretending he was waiting for the bus while he made this video.

Luckily, a majority of the people in the city either assumed he was crazy, didn’t care, or had their head phones in and listening to music or talking on the phone.

People were so stupid.

“But you’ve made it clear you’re-a not interested.” Romano growled, fighting back tears.

“Just-a because you’re-a older than me… Just-a because you’re-a boy and-a so am I…” Romano twisted one of his bangs around his finger, looking around uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry I’m-a not enough for you.” Romano whispered again. He was trying to keep his voice down so he didn’t attract attention.

“And that you-a think that people will-a be mean to us and split us up-a and break our-a hearts because of that.” He stopped messing with his hair, the green specks in his dark amber eyes flashing.

“Don’t-a worry. I’m-a sure I’ll forgive you after-a while. I’m sure I’ll-a have a long-a time to think about it.” Romano stood up from the bench, heading over to his meeting place with Toni at an easy stroll.

“I’ll-a see you on the other side. Maybe by-a then you’ll have changed you’re-a mind. But right now… I can’t-a deal with being on this-a planet anymore. I’m-a sick and tired of waiting for it-a to get better.” Romano shut the camera, ending the tape. With a sigh, he dropped it into a green bag full of blue tissue paper, hurriedly covering it up and melting into a jog as he hurried down the crowded city sidewalk.

“Romano!” Antonio called from down the street, waving. “I’m so glad you came, hi!!”

“Ciao, bastardo.” Romano suppressed a smile, shoving the bag into Antonio’s arms. “Happy birthday, Toni.”

“Aw, you didn’t have to!” Antonio laughed, beginning to open it eagerly.

“Wait!” Romano batted Toni’s hands away from the bag. “You can’t-a open it until you get home.”

“Are you not coming with me?” Antonio blinked in surprise, letting the bag hand forlornly at his hip.

“I’ll be there-a later. I have to go-a take care of-a something first.” Romano crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. “I’m-a sure you’ll be just-a fine until then.”

“Alright, if you say so. Adios, Romano!” Antonio chuckled, mussing up the younger Italian’s hair and heading towards his home. “Feel free to rush though. Gil said he’s going to be bringing a huge cake and super cool party hats, it would be awful if you missed it!!”

“Yeah… Awful.” Romano mumbled, watching the curly brown-haired Spaniard walk away. After a few moments, the Italian turned and began running towards a tall office building, quietly slipping in.

Romano began to head towards the elevators, but a security guard stopped him.

“Visitor pass?” The guard asked, eyeing Romano suspiciously.

“Eh, it’s-a my anniversary. I was-a planning to surprise my-a girlfriend.” Romano pulled a few roses out of his jacket, smiling innocently. “Please, can-a you let me go through? I don’t-a want the clerk lady to-a call up and-a tell her!”

The security guard looked him over for a minute, then waved him through with a sigh.

“Gratzi!” Romano laughed, jumping into the elevator with a grin. As soon as the doors slid close, he threw the flowers on the ground, his scowl returning, and pressed the button for the top floor.

He fingered the gun in his pocket anxiously.

Romano squeaked in surprise as his cell phone went off, swearing in Italian. He pulled it out of his pocket, flipping it open and holding it to his ear.

“Yeah?” He answered, trying to keep the fear from his voice.

“Roma? Where are you??” It was Antonio, and he sounded worried.

“Nowhere.” Romano bit his lip to keep from swearing. Of course that idiot had opened his present early.

“No, don’t give me that!! You tell me where you are right now, Roma, you have to stop!!”

“Maybe you should have thought about-a that before you let other-a people decide how to run your-a life.”

“Romano, wait-“

Romano snapped the phone shut, tossing it on the ground beside the flowers. It immediately began buzzing again as Antonio called the cell phone.

The doors opened, and Romano stepped out into the top floor. Business people and their secretaries turned their heads towards him in surprise. After a few seconds of awkward silence, one man began to stand up, his mouth forming a question as Romano pulled a chair from a nearby desk and used it to block the elevator from closing.

Blam! Men and women alike screamed in fear as Romano shot a hole in the ceiling. The man ducked underneath his desk, trembling in fear.

“Nobody-a move!” Romano shouted. “I’ll-a be done in a secondo, so stay-a seated!”

Walking slowly to the large window, he looked down on the city. Cars and people casually walked along the sidewalks and streets, their perfect lives not affected by his actions whatsoever.

“W-Wait!” Romano turned to look at the man speaking to him. It was an average person, his brown hair slicked back, his tie a little messy from all the sudden movement and tense atmosphere. “Wait, please. You don’t have to hurt anyone.”

Romano laughed, his frown never leaving, sarcasm dripping in his humor. The man stepped back quickly, his eyes wide.

“Please, j-just give me the gun, and we can settle this like m-men.” The office worker said carefully, edging closer and holding his hand out for the weapon.

Romano stared at him for a few seconds, his scowl deepening a little. Raising his arm, he shot the window behind him, not even blinking, keeping his eyes on the daring businessman. The entire room ducked again, a few more screams echoing in the room. The businessman shrank back, covering his head with his hands.

Tossing the gun in his direction, Romano turned and kicked the window, causing glass shards to explode everywhere. A huge hole remained, wind tearing violently through its sharp edges.

“You can-a keep the gun.” Romano whispered, then jumped out into the empty air, closing his eyes as screams of horror and fear wrapped around him and followed his arching path towards the ground.

<^><^><^><^>

You had expected that day out with your friends to be relaxing.

Instead, you had to watch one of your classmates jump out of a 30-story window.

At the sound of a gunshot, everyone in the area flinched, instinctively looking up to see where it had come from. Cars hit their brakes, drivers leaning out the window and looking up.

As the window exploded outwards in a whirlwind of glass, the pedestrians below quickly scattered, screaming in confusion and fear.

You and your friends just stood there, standing on the other side of the street with your necks craned upward.

As a young man’s body fell through the air and landed with a sickening crunch on the pavement.

You had to look away as an older, Spanish-looking man staggered through the puddle of blood, wailing in anguish and wrapping his arms around the shattered body of the corpse.

To this day, the bold suicide haunts your dreams.

The sad thing was, you should have seen it coming.

You had heard all the nasty rumors circulating around Romano and Antonio. People berating them, spreading lies that the two were having a disgusting sexual relationship, despite the rather large age difference and, on top of that, the fact they were the same sex.

Socially unacceptable.

That’s what people viewed it as.

It wasn’t even true, and people glared daggers into their backs.

What’s the point?

Why do people constantly label things negatively?

And on a basis of a story.

Well, you see,

Kristin’s friend’s boyfriend’s younger brother’s pen-pal-who-just-so-happens-to-go-to-this-school’s ex-girlfriend’s bestie-4-life said that she saw the two of them kissing on the cheeks.

So they are obviously in a disgusting homosexual relationship.

Because that is obviously a valid source.

And that is obviously why we have to shun them and assume they are horrible people.

Why?

Firstly, you have NO idea what is actually happening in their lives.

Why are you judging them based on stories?

You have no right to judge them in the first place, much less if you have never even spoken more than four words to them.

Yes, Romano was rather rude. He had a foul tongue.

But does that give you an excuse to slap labels on his back and pretend he doesn’t care?

Wouldn’t you be offended if someone called you names?

So why are you spreading rumors?

Why are you questioning people’s actions?

Just because something is “socially unacceptable” doesn’t mean it has no well-intentioned meaning behind it.

He was not “that gay kid.”

He was not “an attention whore.”

He was Romano.

ROMANO.

That was his name.

Call him by it!

Don’t assume.

Judging people on their actions is wrong.

It’s why they do it that matters.

You don’t have a right to judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes.

Yes.

I realize how cheesy that sounds.

But how would you feel if the first person to stick by your side, and I mean the FIRST person, the one you really, honestly trusted…

Denied you because they were afraid of what other people would say?

Would you want to live on the same planet as those people?

Romano could tell you, if he could talk.

Sometimes it feels easier to deal with rumors when you are lying in a pool of blood.